I cried today

Yes yes I did and I am not ashamed to admit to it but they were not sad tears they were happy ones.

I went shopping today as I have some events coming up and I have no clothes that are suitable and I thought while the kids were at daycare I could do it in peace. Off I went to our local DFO ( Direct Factory Outlets) which can I say was a major disappointment  - you could tell the stock was the clothing that they couldn't sell in the full price shops!

I then ventured to a big shopping centre in the hope it would have the answer and boy did it even! My first stop was jean shopping - I used to dread this, having to buy size 24/26 is depressing and unless you have been there you have no idea how much your self esteem takes a hammering. A lovely assistant approached me ( can I say I have never really had people help me so this is still a new and exciting thing for me) and I asked her about the jeans I had on as I wanted to replace them. She asked me what size I was and I said " Well these are a 14 and a little big so I guess a 13 if you stock them" she looked at me and replied " Honey you are a 10 or 12 in this style" enter me rolling my eyes in my head and just replied with " ok"

I head off to the change room with my 10 and 12 and thought no hard in trying the 10 just to see where I was at with regards to sizing ect - well now we get to the crying part - THEY FUCKING* FIT - and not just suck in as hard as you can with giant muffin top no they fit properly I looked at myself and turned and then headed out to the big mirrors just to have a walk and a look and then it hit me - I was in a size 10 and then it started the tears.  I quickly rushed back into the change room but not before the sales assistant caught me and asked " The 10 right - they look hot" - then I lost it completely and through my tears I had to explain that 18 months ago I was starting to outgrow my size 24 and into size 26 - she was so happy for me she started crying and it was like a love fest 60's style.

I will freely admit that psychologically I don't see the changes in my appearance and if I am honest it scares me a little. I am hoping with time my head will catch up to the rest of me and once I reach goal I can fully embrace the maintenance faze. I don't think anyone can ever understand what it's like to be overweight, obese and in the end for me morbidly obese my whole life to be able to go into any shop and fit the clothes ( I also bought a top from the same shop in a XS).

My first ever size 10 label

* A little apology if I have offended anyone with the use of the F word I felt it was needed to express my absolute astonishment.