The Mexican Stand Off!!!

Dramatic I know but that's what it felt like........

A little background info: When I was 22 I was diagnosed with PCOS and told I was infertile, I met Dave ( my almost husband at 24) by 25 I was pregnant with Lochie, had given birth by 26 and we had yet to celebrate 2 years together. A total whirlwind romance I can hear you all think and in truth it was - more on that another time.

When Lochie was 12 months old we found out I was pregnant again we were thrilled we had hoped it would happen again but weren't sure with my previous diagnosis, I had a blood test to confirm at 5 weeks but had to have a secondary blood test (HCG) to re-confirm as my levels were very low. Second blood test was again confirmed and we started to get excited, it was very shot lived as I had some spotting and pains but nothing consistent. The bleeding stopped but the pains would come every now and again, fast forward to 8 weeks pregnant and I have a bleed not huge but enough to get me worried. Long and the short of it after a scan I was told by my GP I had suffered a Miscarriage, we were devastated but decided to try again as soon as we got the all clear. 3 days later I woke up in extreme pain and Dave rushed me straight to our local ED, waiting 8 hours we finally saw a doctor who ordered a scan, as soon as the scan started the technician pointed out a mass and all I remember him saying as we walked back to the waiting room he said to Dave " You take care of her".

Once we saw the doctor again he gave us the news that I was having an Ectopic Pregnancy - I had no idea what it was only that I was being admitted, give morphine for the pain and told I would have surgery that night. I won't go into it here but you can imagine how we both felt.

After the ectopic pregnancy I fell pregnant again after 5 months which resulted in a MC and 2 months after that I fell pregnant with Zali - as you can imagine we had been through a lot and my body was suffering and I feel that resulted in me having a very difficult pregnancy fraught with problems ( more on that later)

Which brings me to tonight and " The Mexican Stand Off" - I feel that because of the problems getting pregnant and staying pregnant we were how shall I say more lenient with Zali then we ever were with Lochie and as they say the seeds that were sewn are being well reaped now! Zali has been giving me grief for months over going to bed and tonight I decided I'd had enough - she wanted to sleep in our bed and I said no and it started.. the screaming ( no tears) just the noise, I am sure anyone who was walking past had the thought that I was killing my child.

I said good night and gave her a kiss and walked out all the while Zali is screaming her lungs out totally put out that I dare leave her while she was having a hissy fit. I gave her 5mins and went back in - the same thing " Daddy bed, Daddy bed" I stood firm I said no gave her a kiss and walked out, yes you guessed it more screaming. This went on for half an hour and finally she gave in and let me give her a cuddle and put her in the cot but not before relenting and letting her have a book and a train in bed with her.

I would say it was more my win then hers but I think i have laid the foundation to build on to perhaps not be so dramatic tomorrow night. Parenting is a hard game and I wish I had all the answers but I am not perfect and I do the best I can in the situation I am faced with.

I do apologise for such a long post and it's a little mixed with issues and events but you will learn that about me I like to mix it up :)